Spiritual Teachers

The other day I had a few minutes to kill before my dentist appointment; a welcomed free moment in my life. I decided to drop into a book store and browse. I was not looking for anything in particular but found myself in the parenting section, of course. I stood there for quite a while skimming the titles, mostly on pregnancy and child birthing (we all know I don't need any of those books) and was about to leave when a small, little, yellow book grabbed my attention. I pulled out "The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents" by Deepak Chopra and opened it up. I read about two sentences and walked straight to the register. I am constantly grappling with how to be the best mother to these three amazing children and feel like I am always in need of reaasurance, guidance, support, and direction. I love to find new approaches, new ways of thinking about motherhood and parenting.

I started to read the book a few days ago. I even brought the book to a cafe last night and went back over the first few sections with a notebook in hand while I sipped a glass of wine. In my free time away from the kids, I am reading a parenting book. You never can stop being a mother, they say. Anyway, I wanted to remember and remind myself of some of the concepts in the book. After the first few pages, I decided to write my first note: "The deepest nurturing you can give your child is spiritual nurturing." Am I giving these children a sense of spirituality? I am not sure and that is a problem. Okay, note taken. I need to work on that. I wne to on to read about punitive punishment and how it "emphasizes moral dilemmas that you haven't solved for yourself." So do I have some unresolved issues? I guess we all do on some level, but I know that I clearly have some parenting issues that need to be sorted out. We definitely use the "time-out" and feel like it does not work, especially with Luca. I have been trying to figure out what to do with Luca since he has a hard time listening and seems unbothered by the threat of a time-out. After reading this the other day, I decided to try a new approach to discipline with Luca. He and Sofia were playing and it somehow escalated into an argument and Luca hit Sofia. Rather than giving him an immediate time-out with no explanation, I decided to take him out of the room and talk to him. As soon as I picked him up, he instantly began to scream and cry but slowly calmed down once I sat with him on th floor. I talked to him about how we don't hurt other people's bodies and he agreed with me and said with a pathetic voice, "okay, mommy." He was calm, I was calm. This was nice. Sometimes, I struggle in the moment to stay composed when all the kids are screaming and the energy is escalated. I am very sensitive to chaotic energy and easily feel anxious and upset which the children sense immediately. This new approach felt so much better than a typical time-out with lots of screaming and loud voices. I like this little yellow book.
Next I write down "Show only love, be only love" which Deepak Chopra describes as the "one sentence for parenting." I need to read that every single day. I tell all three kids that I love at least ten times a day, but I know that my frustration and exhaustion surface and cloud my ability to be loving. It is even hard for me to be honest about how much I struggle with being patient and calm. I have talked to my close friends about this and I am often told "you have three small children and that is so hard!" I am well aware of how incredibly difficult it is to take care of three small children without much help, but I never feel like it is an excuse. I want more than anything to be a source of love, support, and understanding to these little beings and I sometimes fail at that. Boy, this is hard to write. I love to read books like this, so that I can find new ways to approach the awesome job of mothering. I know that being truthful about the struggle is part of the healing. I am simply trying to surround myself with words, thoughts, feelings that remind me of the power of parenting. Not only are we as parents, powerful spiritual teachers but we are students of our children. They are the true teachers of love in this world with their ability to see the inherent beauty in all people and all things. I know that I have learned more about myself and my place in this universe since I became a mother. I also know that I have never spent more time analyzing my own person and each and every relationship in my life. I am learning so much from this experience of motherhood because I have the three greatest teachers in the world.