Clowning

Sofia just loves her school. She makes the most amazing art projects every day. When I go to pick her up, she can hardly wait to show me what she made that day. Sofia not only makes something for herself but she makes a second for me. The teachers often comment on how much she talks about her mommy. When I hear that, I am reminded of why I stay home with the kids. Anyway, yesterday they had a circus theme where they painted faces and made clown hats. Of course, Sofia made one for herself and one for me. Brian picked her up so as soon as she walked in the door she yelled. "mommy, mommy, I made you a clown hat, let's wear them together!" She ran to me with her darling painted face which was mostly smeared and tried to put the clown hat on me. Sofia just lights up when she makes something for someone else. She has such an amazing spirit and absolutely loves to give to others. Brian grabbed the camera and we took a few clown hat shots together. Then we had to put the clown hat on Silvio since it fit him perfectly. We all laughed and giggled. That was a great art project.

Nuggalicious

Little Silvio is growing up so fast. Sometimes I can't believe that he isn't a newborn anymore. I had all three kids this weekend since Brian had to go to Dave's bachelor party. Poor Brian. Anyway, I was so anxious about taking care of the kids all weekend after a long week. Yesterday we had a shower for my sister at my mom's house, so we packed up lots of gear, lovies, clothes, and headed for my mom's around 9am. I had to make two dishes for the party, so I was busy cooking from the moment I arrived. Sofia and Luca headed straight for the back room to watch TV. The nug literally hung out with me in the kitchen. He is loving the jumpy seat that hangs in the doorway. His little legs kick so fast and he giggles as he bounces up and down. Seriously, it has to be the cutest thing I have ever seen (accept for my other two children doing the same thing!). I could watch him for hours in that thing. Silvio has come a long way from a very unhappy newborn to a squealing, bouncing, incredibly happy baby boy. The beginning of our journey with Silvio was very bumpy, full of anxiety and tears, both his and mine. He was a nervous little baby from birth and had lots of trouble with his belly. He had colick or relfux, whatever you want to call it, but in my book, he was very unhappy and difficult to soothe. I felt like this was unfair since we could not always give him all of our attention and I was left feeling torn up and heartbroken. He would cry so loudly and was so inconsolable. I felt incredibly defeated. He was not soothed by nursing and would pop off and immediately scream. We did not have a "button" for him; there wasn't one particular thing that calmed Silvio. Rather, we were left trying all sorts of holds, the pacifier, swing, the mobile until he would relax. The first three months were truly difficult for all of us.
Yesterday, as Silvio was passed around the room from aunt to cousin to family friend, everyone was commenting on how "mellow" he is and that he "is such a great baby." And I could not agree more. Silvio is such a happy guy, smiling constantly and happily engaging with new faces. He has come a long way from the inconsolable newborn of three months ago. Now that he is getting enough to eat and is a deliciously chunky little guy, he is able to show his true colors. I always had a feeling that this little baby was special. Now he is able to shine nug love to the world. I tell ya', that is just what this world needs. I love my schnug, nug, schnuggums, my darling Silvio.

Scooter

Yesterday, as we were grilling in our backyard, Luca noticed his scooter tucked away in the corner. Brian's mother bought each of the kids a scooter earlier this year. These scooters are particularly special, adorned with stars for Luca, hearts for Sofia, and their name on each. Cute. We have taken them out a few times to ride their scooters but let's just say they have not quite mastered the art of scooter-riding. So yesterday, Luca was very determined to ride that scooter but unfortunately the chicken was ready so we had to go upstairs. Luca is an extremely focused child and needless to say, he was less than happy with the answer "no." Kicks and screams, jumps and thrashes soon passed as he realized that corn on the cob and barbecued chicken awaited him at the dinner table. So the night went on and the morning passed without a mere uttering of "soota" (that does not even come close to how he actually pronounces it...I cannot seem to find the right combination of letters to truly embody his unique way of saying scooter).

After Luca woke up from his nap today, he became fixated on riding his scooter. I had planned on going to Sunnyside park for a while before we were to pick up Sofia from school. I was trying to ignore his request because I thought that juggling Silvio, the stroller, and Luca on a scooter was a bit much for me to handle. Well, daddy steps in and can't seem to say no to the "soota" and convinces me that we will be just fine. Of course, as soon as we get into the car, Luca insists that he wears his helmet, gloves, kneepads, and elbow pads immediately. He wanted to hold his scooter, too, but I didn't think that was a good idea. I kept chuckling as I would look in my rear view mirror and see Luca with his big, red helmet and protective gear. So darn cute. We parked near the school and walked to the park. Actually Luca attempted to scoot, but I convinced him to push the scooter in the stroller, thankfully. We got there and Luca was so excited to finally get the chance to ride his scooter. He did fairly well, only falling a handful of times. He is really into it for a while until he spots the kid with the T-ball and he drops the scooter and runs saying, "I want my baseball game!" Luca seems to love baseball. He hit the ball around for a while until someone saw his scooter laying on the ground and decided to give it a whirl. Luca went flying saying "that is MY soota, MY soota!!" It was hilarious. He then kept the scooter near him for the rest of the time at the park. We definitely had fun today and I am excited to see Luca riding his scooter. He is so incredibly focused on any challenge and is determined to master whatever task he puts his mind to. I love that about him. Luca embodies his name in a way that I never could have imagined: "light."

Anniversary

On May 31, we celebrated five years of marriage. These years have been quite an adventure full of homemaking, babies, and lots of laughter. Brian and I feel so incredibly blessed to be where we are after five years. We have a lovely home in the city and three beautiful children. We celebrated the day of anniversary by going out to dinner in the city. Thankfully, Jen watched the kids so we could go out. She is so supportive and takes such amazing care of the kids, so they were in great hands! We had a wonderful time. This past weekend, we were able to get away for one night to Calistoga where we stayed at a luxurious hotel. We had a gorgeous room with our own private outdoor patio with a hot tub. Hello. My mom watched the kids for the night with the help of my sister, so we were truly able to enjoy ourselves without worrying about them. We had a fabulous time. And I mean fabulous. We really needed a break from our life, so that we could revel in the last five years. Our marriage has been an adventure that will only continue to be more incredible as we move forward. Five years full of life, first smiles, wet kisses, tickles, late night snuggles, luscious baby chub, and most of all, five years full of love. We are grateful.

Happy Baby, Happy Mommy

After feeding Silvio until I was completely empty, I suddenly felt the need to feed him some formula. I had been thinking about introducing formula but I was feeling so guilty about giving up. Everyone know that "breast milk is best" and I put so much pressure on myself to feed him only breast milk as long as I could. Was this the end of breastfeeding for me? I truly thought that this baby would be the "strong nurser" that I had hoped for. At first, I thought that was the case since Silvio was a champion as soon as he was born. As the days passed, he became increasingly unhappy after he finished nursing. We soon discovered that he had reflux, so we immediately began to give him the appropriate medicine. He slowly improved but never loved nursing and was never soothed by the breast. In the last few weeks, I began to feel like he was hungry after his feedings and I was worried about my production. Now, this isn't entirely new to me, since I have worried about my supply with each of my children. I just felt different this time. Silvio is my last little one and there is a tenderness in knowing that he will always be my baby. I wanted to give him my best...which in feeding translates to breast milk. I was also concerned that a dairy based formula may hurt his delicate tummy because of the reflux. Well, that one day, without discussing it with Brian, I gave him a bottle of formula and he downed it. Brian was relieved that I had finally reached the point of letting go; of letting go of the guilt, the pressure, the feeling of failure as a mother. This stuff is so darn hard sometimes. Now, Silvio drinks a lot more than I am producing and is so happy. I am still breastfeeding and I will continue as long as I can. I am trying to follow his lead which is not always easy as a mother. Silvio is such an amazing little guy. He is full of smiles and laughter. He is getting his first tooth and gnaws on his hands constantly. The Nug is definitely happy. And so is his mommy.

Reminisce

Today we went to visit our dear friends Chris, Kristen, and Annika in their new house in Rockridge. We loaded up the kids in the van with their backpacks. Sofia's is pink and was full of goodies. She kept telling us that she had a "special surprise" for daddy but that he couldn't have his surprise until we got to Annika's house. I guess she got a bit anxious because she all of the sudden yelled "surprise!" and pulled out a small bottle of hand sanitizer saying, "here daddy, this is your special surprise that you used to use when you were a baby but you can't use it anymore because you're not a baby anymore, but I can use it." I have no idea where she found her "surprise" but she was very proud of herself for trying to surprise her daddy. Luca was wearing his "packpack" which is a monkey, but he did not want to out anything in it. Rather, he wanted to carry his "baseball game" which is a baseball. He loves any kind of ball, but seems to be particularly interested in baseball these days. Daddy better dust off his soccer shoes start kicking a ball around with him or he might end up with a baseball-playing son. Uh Oh.
Anyway, we loaded all of the kids and their stuff into the van and headed across the bridge to our old stomping ground. As we drove up their street, Brian and I both admired the trees and beautiful homes in the area. After seeing their amazing new home, we took a walk to get a bite to eat. As we headed up the street, I was hit with a pang of sadness; there is a part of me that really misses the east bay. The smell of the trees and the fresh air reminded me of the place where I began my family. We love living back in the city and always saw ourselves raising our family here, but we did spend 3 wonderful years in Oakland. I thought of the walks I would take near Cordonices park on Euclid, the weekly trips to Rockridge where we would get coffee and hang out in Rockridge kids, and the myriad of activities for kids, like Tumble and Tea or Studio Grow. Oh how I miss Studio Grow. I have struggled to find such great places to take the kids here in the city, so I find myself missing the east bay. I spent so many afternoons at Willard park. I just miss the ease and simplicity of life outside of the city. There is always parking nearby and everything is about a 10-minute drive. I would not change our decision for the world but I had to spend a moment reminiscing about our life in Oakland. While we walking up the street, Brian joked about a dilapidated house, saying "we could buy that house, fix it up, and then we would live down the street from Chris and Kristen." I actually paused and thought "that wouldn't be so bad."