Lovin' the Sun

For some reason, this winter felt especially long and dreary. So as spring has come upon us, we are heading out into the sunshine every chance we get. Our children love to run around outside and we love how tired they are when we come home. One of our favorite weekend activities is going down to San Mateo to visit Auntie Steffie and Dave. They have a wonderful back yard where the kids can run around freely and we can hang out and have some margaritas! We headed down there yesterday afternoon and has such a wonderful time. My sister had decided to pick up our old hula hoops from my mom's house. My mother actually kept our original hula hoops. All of us decided to give it a whirl and found ourselves laughing on the floor. Watching Dave and Brian attempt the hula hoop is even difficult to describe. Tears were rolling down my face from the laughter and it felt amazing. My mother and I had a contest at one point. Sofia and Luca tried so hard to hula hoop but could not quite get the hip motion down. I, on the other hand, had it down. I was trying all my old tricks. Girl can still shake it! We had such a great time and so did the kids. I wish we would get together every weekend, but every body gets busy in our busy lives. The simplicity of family, good food, and some fun makes for a perfect afternoon. I hope that we continue to make time for impromptu family gatherings so the my kids continue to experience that pure love and joy that comes from family. There is a connection that we can only truly experience within our family; one that is rooted in history and spirit.
I grew up with a great sense of family, fostered by my parents and my grandparents. I spent a lot of time with my Nonna and Nonno and learned so much about my heritage. I would never have lived in Italy, had the connection with my Italian relatives, or learned the language if I did not have my Nonna's encouragement. She sent me to Italy by my self at 18 to spend time with some of my relatives and I began to learn the language. Then, Brian and I lived there for a year which only deepened my connection to my heritage. Brian and I have been back several times and often discuss the possibility of living there some time with our family. Now that I am a citizen (along with Sofia and Luca), we can actually begin to entertain the idea. I want Sofia, Luca, and Silvio to feel connected to their heritage not only because we gave them Italian names, but because it is an integral part of our lives. I know that spending time together as a family is part of connecting to our Italian culture. The simple time we spend together gives our children a fundamental sense of identity and connection. So, I am excited as we head into spring and summer and we can continue to revel in the sun and each other.

Friends

I love seeing Silvio with Avi. They were conceived at practically the same time and were born 3 days apart. Melissa and I were in the hospital for 1 day together and had a chance to lay these beautiful boys next to each other. They really do seem to like each other and both shriek with excitement when they see each other. Melissa and I had a chance to hang out the other day and I was thrilled to be able to put Silvio in the stroller with Avi. They shared bread and babbled back and forth. It was ridiculously sweet. We spend so much time with older children, so I love it when Silvio has a chance to hang out with his buddy. And of course, I was thrilled to have some time with Melissa.
Although I know many moms, I don't have many friends and consequently spend a good deal of time by myself with the kids. It has been hard to connect with other moms for some reason. I don't know if it is that I am a true introvert at heart and I often struggle to reach out to potential friends or it is that I am just too busy wrapped up in taking care of my three children. Regardless, I often find myself a bit lonely and jump at any chance to hang out with another mom, especially a mom friend as dear to me as Melissa. When I lived in Oakland, I had a great circle of mom friends and we would meet quite often. We started to gather together when we were pregnant. It is an amazing group of women and I miss them often. Kristen and I still see each other sometimes but I know that if I lived in the East Bay, I would spend a ton of time with her and Annika. That is hard for me. I miss her dearly and wish we were closer. Most days, I end up at the park in the afternoon where I know a few other moms and I get a chance to have a chat with another adult which is always a good thing. I love connecting with other women and having the opportunity to revel in motherhood. More than anything, I just love being able to chat when my kids run around. I do have many wonderful friends and I feel blessed to be surrounded by amazing women. It is a true gift and incredibly necessary to get through life as a mother. Amen.

My big boy is 3

So it has been nearly a month since Luca's 3rd birthday. He is quite the 3-year-old these days with his abundance of energy and hilarious ideas. I remember the day that Luca was born. I had a C-section scheduled for 1:00 PM on February 23, 2006. I got to the hospital a few hours earlier only for the nurses to send me downstairs to wait. The doctors were tied up with a few emergency C-sections so my birth was put on hold for the moment. We went downstairs where we soon met up with my family. We sat in the waiting area and I watched them eat Arizmendi pastries and drink hot coffee. I bought socks from the hospital gift shop. I was becoming increasingly anxious. After almost an hour we went back upstairs and I was checked into a room. My IV's were started and I waited for my doctor, Dr. Matthews who delivered Sofia to come in. As soon as she came in, she apologized for the wait and began to prep me for surgery. She told me it would be at least another hour before I would go in and then she quickly left. I was feeling incredibly anxious and had to take a walk. I was hungry, tired, and had a headache from missing my cup of coffee. Oh, yeah and I was very pregnant. Not a great combination of circumstances. Brian and I took a long walk around the halls yearning for that moment to meet our little boy. My mom, dad, and sister had left to grab a bite. As soon as we returned to our hospital room, a nurse came in and told us that we were to go into the OT immediately for the birth. We scarmbled around the room, found our phone to call my family, and tried to take a deep breath. Just as I was waddling out of the room, the same nurse told us to go back into our room because Dr. Matthews had another emergency C-section. She told us it would be another hour or so. I was about to burst! My family came rushing into the room only to find me laying in my bed, as sad as could be. I wanted to meet this baby! Another hour passed and the time finally came for us to meet Luca. We were nervous and excited to meet out little guy. I was so glad to have Dr. Matthews there since she had seen me through Sofia's birth and through a somewhat eventful pregnancy with Luca (I had a elevated AFP and consequently had to have an amniocentesis which was horrible). Within 10 minutes, Luca entered this world and screamed loudly. He was covered in vernix which was a bit shocking but he was alert and ready to go. I recognized his profile from the ultrasound and felt the light of our Luca. He is such a radiant child and lights up every room. He is resilient and strong. He is fiercely independent and full of joy. His smile is contagious and I have no doubt that he is gong to be one of the most amazing people I know. He tells me he loves me all of the time and loves to "talk" before bed every night. He tells me of the "long, big, black train" that he wants and how he loves his friends at school. Luca Swan makes me a better mother every day. He is a true gift to us and to this world. He fills my heart with light, joy, and so much love. Happy Birthday to my sweet, big boy.

Too Long

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I have been terrible at blogging lately. I have many excuses. It goes without saying that my life with 3 kids is incredibly chaotic at all times of the day, so finding time to blog is difficult, if not impossible. The main reason I have been a blog failure is because Brian has dismantled the room downstairs and consequently, the computer. So when Brian goes to work every day, he takes our single computer with him, so I left with my iphone which is not the greatest tool for blogging. So all of the excuses set aside, I miss blogging and feel like I need this place to reflect on my journey as a mother. Our life has been full of changes and shifts as we continue to navigate our family of five. Sofia is becoming increasingly independent and is testing her boundaries. She loves to draw and write her name. Her pictures have more of a story and she loves to depict things from her life and music. Sofia draws everybody in our family with big smiles and complete with foreheads and eyebrows. She sings lots of silly songs and dances up a storm. Luca. Oh, Luca. We are still struggling with the potty and I tell myself that he most likely won't poop in his pants when he is 15, but it feels endless. Other than cleaning pop pants anywhere bewteen 3 and 10 times a day, Luca is full of energy. He is a kinetic, energetic, and enthusiastic boy who loves to play and play and play. He has been exploring his imagination a bit and plays pretend games with Sofia. They love to pretend they are having apicnic on the beach and they set up blankets and food. Of course all of their lovies are in attendance. Luca has made some friends at school and lights up when he sees them. He talks endlessly about his friends at school, Jack and Jimmy. I love seeing him play with his friends and establishing himself as a separate person from his sister. It is no doubt that the 2 of them are joined at the hip, but they need space to enjoy their individuality as well. The Nug is still the most nugalicious baby. He is full of opinions these days and will let us know when he needs something or is mad about his brother or sister taking something away from him. He still scooches and has begun to crawl. I don't know when he is going to walk but he is continuing to teach us that he is his own person and will do things in his own way. He is quite the engineer and loves anything electronic. He steals Sofia's Leapfrog Leapster, turns it on, and tries to use the wand to play a game. The other day, he found a CD in a bag, scooched over to the DVD player, opened it, put the disc in, closed it, found the remote, and pointed the reomte at the TV. I was floored. He is such a little scientist! I am relishing every little moment with my Nug, knowing well that this time plasses so quickly. As I am writing tonight, I realize how important it is for me to have this space to revel in all of the daily moments with my sweet babies. It has been too long, but I only have today.