Bye Bye Binky

For some insane reason the other day, I told Luca that I would throw out his binkies if he could not stay in his time out. Brian scowled at me from across the room and I knew in that moment that I had made a huge mistake. Of course, he ignored my threat and I was forced to throw his binkies away. Unfortunately, half of discipline is following through so the binkies went into the trash. So we decided to dive in. We knew that this 3rd birthday was the impending day of loosing the bink (not good for his teeth), but we weren't quite ready for the withdrawl this soon. If there were some sort of "Binkies Annonymous," Luca would lead the chapter. He not only sucks on the bink to fall asleep, he plays with them as if they are stuffed animals. He cherishes his binkies, places them delicately in his trucks and cars and drives them around. So the immediacy of the loss sent him into a horrible place. At bedtime, Brian continued to comfort him through his continuous whining, "I need my binkies." He soon fell asleep and we were thrilled. We knew it could not possibly be that easy. we were right. The next day at nap time the whining began and soon he was hysterical, screaming about his binkies. We took turns helping him through it and he fell asleep after about 20 trips into the room and 2 hours. This has continued for the last 4 days and it has been brutal. Today, I was tempted to give in because I am desparate for a break from his withdrawl. Luca has always been a consistent napper and he now is fighting his sleep with a newly discovered enthusiasm. I realize that the binky is his major sleep cue and now he does not know how to calm himself and fall asleep on his own. I knew that this would be hard but I never imagined that it would be so intense and so grueling. I am also a bit nostalgic for the image of my little Luca with the bink in his mouth. It was such a part of his comforting throught his life. My little boy is growing up and we both are learning to let go. Apparently I was a "nuky" girl as well, so I have always had this special connection to Luca's love for the pacifier. I know that he will get through all of this soon enough. I'll remmber all of those nights when I would check on Luca and he was sleeping peacefully and all I could hear was that sucking sound. As gross as it may sound, I will even cherish the smell of saliva in his neck from all of the slobbering while sucking on that thing. Those sounds and smells of my baby boy who is growing up faster than I know.