Reminders

I have no computer. The computer I use is Brian's work laptop which he takes to work every day. So, I never have time to blog. Now that Luca dropped his nap, I try to be out of the house most of the day so that the kids can run themselves into the ground before we head home. I feel like I am incredibly out of practice on the blog front and am struggling to find the words to summon up this crazy time of our lives. I am still touring kindergartens and feel somewhat numb about the whole thing at the moment. I have turned in 3 applications to Catholic schools and I am currently working on my "top 7" list for SFUSD. I am anxious to know how this will all turn out next spring. I know this will all work out and we will ultimately be in the right place. I have to believe it. If I put it out there, it will come back. At least, I think so.

I was reminded today of how incredibly blessed I am to have these 3 beautiful, healthy children. My sister, who is almost 24 weeks along, ended in up the hospital today after 2 recent episodes of bleeding. When my brother-in-law called me this morning, my heart sank. Brian took most of the day off, so that I could be there with she and Dave at the hospital as the waited to talk to the OB and the Perinatologist. She will have to be on bed rest for a few weeks and then she can possibly be on modified bed rest. It is all really touch and go through the rest of the pregnancy.

She is worried, stressed, and sad about all of this and I just feel terrible. And grateful. I feel like I took my healthy, breezy pregnancies for granted. It seems like it is such a simple process. You get pregnant, your belly grows, you get a bit uncomfortable, then you have your healthy baby. Simple. I had some little bumps and concerns along the way with both boys' pregnancies, but nothing was grave and landed me in the hospital. As I sat there with her today, I felt humbled by the amazing process the body takes on to grow this life. I know she will be okay, but this is a long road and one full of worry and anxiety. I came home today and took a moment to kiss and love on each of my three beautiful babies.

The other day as Silvio and I were reading books. I asked him for a kiss and he quickly shook his head and said "no." But he then leaned in to me and said "love you." I melted.

Today, I am reminded of the grace, the complexity, the fragility of motherhood from the beginning until now. It continues every day. Although the reminder comes in an unwelcoming way, I still feel so grateful for the simplicity of how I arrived.