Right Place

Sofia is in her last year of preschool so we are looking for a new school for our family. As much as I can't believe on some level that she is going to be 5 in December, she is so ready for kindergarten. She loves her preschool workbooks and sits for hours drawing shapes and sounding out letters. I know that she is going to love kindergarten. I have dreaded this process since I have watched so many parents at our school become so stressed as they toured schools and discussed the infamous lottery process we have here in the public schools. So as the fall approached, I braced myself for an intense and anxiety-provoking experience. So far, I have felt overwhelmed and emotional about it all.
I have toured 5 schools and have about 8 more to go. I am looking at both public and Catholic schools and I am feeling very unsettled about where I see our family fitting in. I know that we relate to the communities of many of these public schools, but I am terrified of the huge middle schools and don't know if I want to transition Sofia at that point. I have about 2 tours per week for the next few weeks and many applications to fill out. I like the public schools and often see our family "fitting in" much better than we would at a Catholic school, but I love the feel of some of the Catholic schools. I don't know. And thankfully, I don't have to know until we receive our letters in March from San Francisco Unified. I just want Sofia to feel comfortable and at ease in a new school. Sofia continues to be an emotional and sensitive little girl, absorbing so much of the energy around her. So I need to make sure she feels safe. She can also be quite outgoing and social, so I know she will make friends quickly. Her newest expression is "whatever, mom." I might add, she says it the exact intonation of a teenager. I think it is hilarious but I am also terrified of what she might say 10 years from now. Yikes. For now, I take in all of the kissing and snuggling and the way she says, "I want you to be my mommy forever." I know she may not feel that way at some point in the not-too-near-future. Or maybe she will. I can hope. For now, she is heading toward a new school and a new experience. I know she is ready and we are as well.
At the end of the day, I just want our family to feel connected to our school community. At this point, I have no idea where that might be, but I know that it will work out. I am putting all that good energy out there for a loving, safe, and nurturing school for all of us. I know it will come back to me. At least, I hope.