Tears

Sofia just started school last week (this is a picture of her on her first day back). Although she is still at Miraloma, she is now in the morning program so she has new teachers and new kids. Sofia was very attached to her teachers and her friend, Molly. She has not connected with any of the kids yet and still complains about going to school. This started a few months ago and I was hoping that maybe going to school in the morning versus the afternoon would help since she has much more energy at the beginning of the day. Although she get through her sadness a bit faster, she still is very unhappy at school. She spends a lot of time being sad and crying. Sometimes, I feel like I am torturing her by keeping her at school. I know this is a process but she has been going to school for over a year. She actually did much better last year. Sofia is such an incredibly sensitive child and takes in so much emotion that surrounds her.
Yesterday, we went over to my sister's housein the afternoon so that I could look at her wedding photos. We were in the back bedroom and heard the microwave go on. Stef ran into the kitchen but didn't think anything of it. Then we heard Luca began to scream. We both ran in to find his train and his monkey on fire in the microwave. Stef immediately ran to the sink and filled a glass of water and put out the fire. There was smoke everywhere and the kids were hysterical. They were terrified because they could feel how panicked we both were. It took us a while to calm them down. Luca could not stop saying "my lovie and my train are ruined." He must of said it 50 times meanwhile Sofia had a continual monologue about the fire, her feeling of shear terror and how sad she was. After 10 minutes of this, I tried to tell both of them to clam down and that we were all okay. Sofia then went on to say "mom, I just can't stop thinking about this, I can't." My sister and looked at each other and had a laugh. Sofia is obviously related to us. Apples. She continued to talk about the microwave incident the rest of the night. This morning I warned her teacher that she might talk about the microwave incident at some point today. Sure enough, when I picked her up, there was a note in my box that she had dictated to her teacher about the fire and how she "never wants to go to Auntie Steffie's house again." I think the intensity of my emotion just overwhelmed her and she is till reeling from that moment. Sofia is so incredibly in tune with any emotion that surrounds her. She can be so intuitive and self-aware for an almost 4-year-old which sometimes floors me. Brian and I both know how important it is for us to make her feel safe and to give her the space to express herself and talk about her feelings. She definitely has lots of tears but hopefully we help her to understand where they come from and how to move beyond.