Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Christmas Hesitation

For some reason, I have struggled to get into the Christmas spirit. One would think that having 3 children around, two of which squeal with delight when they see any sort of Christmas decoration, would somehow ignite that excitement about Christmas. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find that place. Maybe my discontent with the Christmas spirit resides with my resistance to the American ideal of abundance and materialism. I guess I am a minimalist and I don't like a lot of stuff. If I had my way, my house would be clear of all clutter (which is impossible with 3 kids in a 850 square foot house). As my children are becoming more and more aware of the gift-giving tradition of Christmas, they can't seem to stop talking about all of the presents they are going to get from Santa. I know this is quite normal, but I can't help but feel a twinge of disgust. Maybe that sounds a bit strong but I want nothing more than to raise my children with a strong sense of appreciation for what they have and a sense of gratitude for all of the things we have in our lives that are not material. As they unwrap gifts, they tear the paper off and simply glance at the content for a split second before they are intensely focused on opening the next gift. This is normal behavior for a 4-year-old, but I can't help but wonder if I could somehow affect this desire for more and more. Every time we go into a store, Sofia will ask me "what are you going to buy me Mommy?" over and over again. When I tell her that we are not buying her anything but rather we are buying something for someone else, she screams and cries. I feel a pang of disgust and of shame, as if I have somehow contributed to her awful behavior. So, as we approach Christmas, I feel a bit anxious that my children will forget to say "thank you" and may not show any sort of appreciation for all of the wonderful gifts they are about to receive. Next year, I hope that we can find a way to approach Christmas with grace and try to incorporate some sort of tradition that focuses on the gratitude and simple joy that is truly at the heart of the Holiday Season. Hopefully, Sofia and Luca will revel in the love that surrounds them this year that comes in the form of train tracks and pretend make-up. Maybe next year we will find a way to revel more in the giving than in the receiving. We shall see.

4 comments:

Nay-Nay said...

I hear you sister - we go through the same thing every year with my neices and nephews.

Neat story: this year we decided to do gifts of service instead, and my sister Erinn asked her three kids what they wanted to do. They decided on their own that instead of giving gifts to each other, this year they would use that money to buy a gift for kids at the local shelter. It was very humbling, and encouraging. Her kids are a bit older than yours (10, 8, 4), but you can rest assured I think - when they're old enough they'll get the principles you've instilled, and I'm sure they'll understand the true meaning of giving, and not focus on the getting.

Oh, also, my brother has instilled in Andrew that he gets to have all these awesome new things for Christmas, but for each new thing he gets, he must give up something old, and they donate it to a shelter or take it to Goodwill. I think that's kind of cool. Plus it reduces clutter. :)

Love you so much!

Melissa said...

I know what you mean. It's refreshing to read your post, as always.

I think it would be nice to go the way of service and volunteering on Christmas as the kids get older. Maybe we can do it together? That would be fun. And merry. xoxo

Janine Evans said...

love this post. I totally see this behavior in my nieces and I dread the years when this might start. I feel exactly the way you do. It is going to be difficult to wait for them to "get it" but it will be SO rewarding when they do!
Good for you!

Gillian said...

love this one too. so hear ya on the paper ripping and barely glancing. i love the service idea but can't there be even more to it than that? i'm on a create my own ritual and tradition kick....and i'm just getting started!

love your words.